When I was in middle school I was convinced I’d fallen in love with my first boyfriend, because he made me feel all kinds of things, but when we broke up after two months, I didn’t feel a thing. My freshmen year I thought I’d fallen in love with the boy who made me feel again, but it didn’t hurt all that bad when he left after four months. Now I’m 16, with a broken heart and I’m not sure what’s better or worse than falling in love with a boy who makes you feel like you’re on top of the world, who makes you feel alive again, who makes you talk about him for hours on end, even if no body really cares. The best things happen while falling in love. But oh my fucking God does it hurt when it feels like it’s ending.

Yeah cuddling naked is nice but there is something so sensual about laying together with your clothes on just to have them lift your shirt a little and grab your hip, then run their hand up and down your body to tease you. And by having just a small bit of your skin exposed, it leaves your body begging for more, and your nerves burn to have their hand pull your shirt up just a little more, grab your waist and caress your skin. Then the sweet and dangerous motion of their hand tugging your pants down slightly to give you false hope of satisfaction is dispelled by the sudden tug to pull your pants back up, and it gives you the feeling of dire need to be touched more. Clothes are great, actually.



Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.

Daniell Koepke (via erosboros)